Today, I’d like to start a NEW VIDEO SERIES on the important topic of “Should You Merge Finances After Marriage?“
…And there seems to be a lot of confusion around this question. Take, for instance a question I received the other day that reads, as follows:
Do you have any recommendations for how to merge finances with my spouse? We got married young and were advised to set up “My Money Accounts” and “Our Money Accounts.” We still organize our finances that way. We each have our own separate checking and investment accounts for personal expenses, and we don’t need to consult with each other on how we spend that money. We also have joint checking and investment accounts. Our incomes go into our separate checking accounts, but we’re both required to replenish our joint account to pay our joint bills. The amount we contribute is based on our income and calculated annually based on raises, job promotions, etc. At this point, our incomes are about even, and we spoke with our advisor to see if it makes sense to fully merge our finances. I’m curious to hear from you. When is the best time for a couple to merge their finances without losing autonomy?
So, I’d like to start by saying that whoever advised you to set up your finances in the way you just outlined should be forbidden from giving financial advice in the future. Money issues are the top cause of divorce in the country, and this “advisor” is overcomplicating your life and setting you up to clash with your spouse. These recommendations for a young, newly married couple are nonsensical, unorganized, impractical, and foolish. The good news is that you are revisiting this decision now because you realize that something is amiss with your current process.
Since I don’t know you personally, and there may be information I don’t have, the best I can do is provide a framework to consider. Hopefully, you and your spouse (AND VIEWERS OF THIS VIDEO) will find it helpful in your financial lives.
First, let’s discuss Getting off on the right foot: While I realize that your question is post marriage, it’s worth pointing out that a couple’s approach to money should be in sync and laid out BEFORE they tie the knot. It’s not possible to understand your future partner’s full relationship with money before being married to them, however, you can pick up on a lot during the courting stage of a relationship. You should have a shared view of money and how you plan to use it to build your life together. If you differ on certain matters, discussing them and going into the marriage with eyes wide open is imperative.
In my next video, I will describe when to keep finances separate and in what scenarios it makes sense to MERGE one’s finances.