Today, I’d like to CONTINUE this video series on discussing the important topic of How To Get Out Of The Financial Rat Race.
…and the next point I’d like to make is a Lack of satisfaction: As folks make more money, I caution them to avoid “lifestyle creep,” which is the gradual increase in spending that often occurs when your income rises. Instead of using the extra money to save or invest, many families start spending more. Things that were once considered luxuries slowly become perceived necessities. The problem is most of these luxuries don’t actually lead to more satisfaction, and in fact, may cause you more stress.
One thing that causes a tremendous amount of joy in my life is the kiddush at shul on Shabbos. I’ll have herring with a few crackers, coffee with a rugelach, and catch up with friends. This really sparks immense joy in my life. When most people reflect on their lives, and strip out all the nonsense and distractions, they will realize that it’s the little things that lead to the most fulfilment. The $25,000 financial outlay for a shalom zachor, the half a million-dollar wedding, the $1,000 a month luxury car lease, are all distractions to what is actually meaningful in life.
Next point is about Your current chevra: Here are a few words of perspective on the friends with whom you are trying to keep up. First, they may not actually be your friends. If your relationship is primarily based on who has what or who has more than you are surrounding yourself with shallow people who are not actually your friends. You probably have a nagging feeling that I’m right but feel it would be rude to admit it or say it out loud to your spouse. I’m happy to call things as I see them.
Also, keep in mind that you may be trying to keep up with a mirage, an illusion or something that is not really there. It’s very difficult for families to maintain the lifestyle that the questioner described. They are either in the 1% of earners in the country (which is still not a reason to spend so lavishly, but at least they can temporarily afford this lifestyle), or they are getting help from a generous family member like a parent or sibling, or, what is very common in our circles, they are borrowing money to finance this lifestyle. Keep in mind that neither having a rich shver who is willing to finance an extravagant lifestyle nor keeping a fantasy world alive by borrowing money are scenarios worth emulating.